We’re nurses so we’re trained to take on other people’s problems like a pro – i.e., with the highest level of training and competency.
This morning I woke up with someone else’s problem on my mind. While I’m all for a little empathy, my problem was that I was making her problem mine, and the problem with that is, I’m not part of the problem, so I can’t be part of the solution. Since I can’t contribute to the outcome, all that’s left for me is to fret, worry or obsess – none of which are particularly helpful or healthy.
Life is too short to waste energy on someone else’s problem they won’t, or can’t, do anything about.
I just called my sage 84-year-young friend Blanche, whom I frequently confide in, and said, “The next time I talk to you about this problem, please remind me, Vickie, it’s not your problem.”
When you find yourself getting all cranked up over something outside your control or circle of influence, think of me reminding you that it’s not your problem.
Success Is Yours!
P.S. Comment and share how you let go of someone else’s problem when they won’t, or can’t, help themselves.
Wowzers, Vickie. After reading this, I had to PAUSE and think this one through. I understand the point you are trying to get across. As nurses, most of us are very caring individuals. If my patient, friend, or loved one has a “hurt”, I feel their pain and/or sadness. But, on the other hand, if they choose not to take a step toward solving the problem, (even baby steps), as a nurse, friend or loved one, we can only do so much. Thanks! I needed this PAUSE this morning.
Vickie,
This message could not have come at a better time in my life! I have been pondering, losing sleep, tearful over another person’s problem.
Thanks for the gentle reminder that even though we are nurses, we can’t fix the world!
Very true, Vickie. Sometimes a friend or loved one just needs someone to listen to them and provide emotional support. Nothing wrong with that.
I’ve had friends I expressed grief too and they wanted to give advice when that was not what I needed, just someone being there and listening.