Whether You’re 4 or 40, Every Day Should Be Independence Day!
I have a 4 ½-year-old great-niece, Reese. She’s really a great niece and has boundless energy. She also has a fierce, very strong independent streak. As long as we’ve played together, if I try to help her with something she’ll firmly tell me, “No Vickie. I’ll do it.”
She recently went to her first day of preschool. Her parents weren’t sure what to expect, but shouldering a backpack almost as large as her (with her lunchbox swinging from the bottom) she ran to school, stopping just once to wave goodbye (the video is priceless). I’m hoping she keeps that independent streak for the rest of her life.
But Reese makes me wonder why some women lose their independence as they get older. Believe it or not, there are husbands who call LegalNurse.com, on behalf of their wives, to assess our CLNC® Certification Program. Like the woman can’t make the decision about whether legal nurse consulting is for her without her husband’s help. And then this same woman is going to have to talk to attorneys – Guess what?… – by herself. Unless, of course, her husband wants to do the marketing and interviewing for her too, which might not be a bad idea. LOL!
Call me old fashioned, but men like that offend me and women who tolerate such Neanderthal behavior offend me too. Tom and I do consult with each other before big purchases (like my Gulfstream 5), but I hardly require his consent. While I’m kidding about the Gulfstream, I’m not kidding about needing my husband’s permission before making a purchase. Whenever one of us has a big purchase in mind, there’s often some negotiations, a sales pitch, possibly a PowerPoint presentation, a little buy-in required and (my favorite) an exchange of favors. But there is NEVER permission.
I’m Just Sayin’ and Not Askin’
P.S. Tom just said, “It’s always better to ask forgiveness than permission,” so I’m going to see what he’s got parked in the garage (LOL).
P.P.S.Comment here and share your feelings on asking your spouse for permission.
5 thoughts on “Whether You’re 4 or 40, Every Day Should Be Independence Day!”
I agree with you, Vickie. My husband and I do not ask permission. Major purchases are relayed to each other out of respect. Last time I needed permission from anyone it was my dad I had to ask!
I also find it so demoralizing to a woman to allow such behavior. We are big girls and can make the big bucks too!! Although, there is the other half of society where the woman does not need or want to work. I think when they watch women and their friends in the work force juggling five times more than them, and they think they are busy with just their kids, I believe they start to feel less empowered. But bottom line – buck up and do something for yourself!!
Sometimes we get those kind of controlling husbands early in life, and I would have rather cut my tongue out than to admit to my grandmother that she was right. He was the spender and I was the budgeter. However, 23 years later when my grandmother died, he became medically disabled; but the clause in the marriage contract stated in sickness and in health was equally binding 17 years later, totalling 40 years. Guess what? You never realize that a rest home can be empowering, but Tammy I am with you – now I can buck up and do something for myself by working each day on my dream of becoming a successful CLNC® consultant.
Vickie, I am with you on that Neanderthal ideation. You pointed out that it was the husband checking out the business and not the nurse. Would that not be called doing business by proxy?
I have had a relationship like that before, but never again. Although, I sold my husband on my CLNC® business idea. He understood what it takes to start any viable business and felt the cost was minimal compared to a business we started and failed years ago, which took hundreds of thousands to start.
Another term for what you described is a co-dependent relationship; two halves do not make a whole. A relationship like that is not healthy for anyone. I like your motto, “I Am a Nurse and I Can Do Anything!®”
Very well said. As women, we have to step out of our comfort zone and realize that we possess an amazing array of qualities and limitless abilities. We are smart, independent, compassionate and nurturing. We have beautiful souls and amazing energies! We are givers, more so than takers. I think that when we find a balance between giving and taking (without guilt of course) then we can reach the level of being that cannot be controlled by any human force. I feel that sometimes men try to control women because deep down inside they know that we are boundless and can be limitless in our achievements. I think they are a little jealous of us!!!
I have learned over the years that giving in to male manipulation can be devastating on the mind, body and soul.
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*The opinions and statements made by Vickie Milazzo, the founder of Medical-Legal Consulting Institute, Inc. are based on her experiences and expertise, should not be applied beyond the specific context provided, and do not guaranty or project actual results. Vickie Milazzo is no longer involved in the operations or management of the business, but is involved as an independent education consultant.
I agree with you, Vickie. My husband and I do not ask permission. Major purchases are relayed to each other out of respect. Last time I needed permission from anyone it was my dad I had to ask!
I also find it so demoralizing to a woman to allow such behavior. We are big girls and can make the big bucks too!! Although, there is the other half of society where the woman does not need or want to work. I think when they watch women and their friends in the work force juggling five times more than them, and they think they are busy with just their kids, I believe they start to feel less empowered. But bottom line – buck up and do something for yourself!!
Sometimes we get those kind of controlling husbands early in life, and I would have rather cut my tongue out than to admit to my grandmother that she was right. He was the spender and I was the budgeter. However, 23 years later when my grandmother died, he became medically disabled; but the clause in the marriage contract stated in sickness and in health was equally binding 17 years later, totalling 40 years. Guess what? You never realize that a rest home can be empowering, but Tammy I am with you – now I can buck up and do something for myself by working each day on my dream of becoming a successful CLNC® consultant.
Vickie, I am with you on that Neanderthal ideation. You pointed out that it was the husband checking out the business and not the nurse. Would that not be called doing business by proxy?
I have had a relationship like that before, but never again. Although, I sold my husband on my CLNC® business idea. He understood what it takes to start any viable business and felt the cost was minimal compared to a business we started and failed years ago, which took hundreds of thousands to start.
Another term for what you described is a co-dependent relationship; two halves do not make a whole. A relationship like that is not healthy for anyone. I like your motto, “I Am a Nurse and I Can Do Anything!®”
Very well said. As women, we have to step out of our comfort zone and realize that we possess an amazing array of qualities and limitless abilities. We are smart, independent, compassionate and nurturing. We have beautiful souls and amazing energies! We are givers, more so than takers. I think that when we find a balance between giving and taking (without guilt of course) then we can reach the level of being that cannot be controlled by any human force. I feel that sometimes men try to control women because deep down inside they know that we are boundless and can be limitless in our achievements. I think they are a little jealous of us!!!
I have learned over the years that giving in to male manipulation can be devastating on the mind, body and soul.