passion

A recent analysis of the stream of Twitter “tweets” reveals that people are happy in the morning, less happy throughout the day while they’re at work and then happier again after work when back at home. That’s a pretty revealing study which suggests that most people are compartmentalizing their life into a work life and a personal life. But the reality is, we don’t have two-compartment lives. We only have one life. Most of us spend more time at work than with our families. You can’t turn happiness off at work and go home and turn it on and expect to have a passionate, purpose-filled life.

I’m not naive. None of us can expect to feel happy all day, every day. In fact if someone claims they are, I’d bet that they’re either medicated or need to be. Likewise, we can’t put our happiness on hold 12 hours a day when at work and then crank it up when we get home.

I faced the ramifications of such a life on my mind, body and soul 29 years ago when I woke up to a dead-end job at the hospital. Plus, I was going to have to work overtime for the rest of my life just to pay the mortgage on my 1,100 square-foot condo. And I was way too mouthy and opinionated for a hospital institution.

I seized my dissatisfaction and started my own business as a legal nurse consultant. Owning my dissatisfaction and, most importantly, doing something about it changed my entire life.

Is it time to check in and assess if you’re one of those Twitter statistics? If so, what do you plan do about it?

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share your state of happiness at work.

I’ve been training and mentoring nurses to start legal nurse consulting businesses for more than 29 years. In all that time, I’ve never met a successful CLNC^® consultant who said “I wish I had waited to start my CLNC^® business.” What I always hear Certified Legal Nurse Consultants say  is “I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.”

We all have dreams and it’s a privilege to live in a society where dreams can come true. But here’s what I know for sure – a dream can make you miserable if all you do is dream and never take action. At some point, the dream that you were so passionate about slowly fades into the background until it becomes a memory and then eventually a regret. We owe it to ourselves to go for our dreams all the way. Go for it or reject it outright.

I love nurses and want every nurse to be happy. The happiest nurses are those who pursue their dreams and take action on them. They’re not dreaming the dream – they’re living their dream. The time for you to start living your dream is now. Whether your desire is to launch your CLNC^® business or obtain two more attorney-clients, do it now!

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share the dream that you’re pursuing today!

How a Working Mom Can Squeeze Out the Time to Pursue Her Personal Passions

What is it about Mother’s Day that you love so much? Do you love the fact that your husband and child join forces to prepare breakfast in bed for you? Or is it that your husband acknowledges what a great mom you are? Or simply that this day is not like every other when you collapse into bed as limp as an overused sponge and wonder, “How long can I keep up this mad pace?”

Today’s mom is so busy doing it all that she rarely has the time to enjoy life’s greatest gift, her family.

The reality today is that even as women are achieving the incredible they’re still battling the stereotype of traditional wife and mother.

A clever mom can do anything, but you should not do everything. Follow these simple strategies and enjoy the benefits of Mother’s Day year-round:

1. Realize the power and freedom of NO. There are only 24 hours in a day and if you want more time to yourself, whether it be at work, at home or for leisure activities, you have to learn to say NO to everybody else’s expectations. It takes practice, but learn to say NO to every other cause that comes along that distracts you from your career or personal goals. The YES is for your priorities and puts you in the driver’s seat of your own destiny.
2. Draw your man in. Find a way to communicate without distraction (e.g. take a walk together). Express how much you appreciate him. Then explain you’re feeling overloaded. Just show him the long pre-prepared list of all your responsibilities. Then decide together on joint responsibilities and all the ways to handle them – dinnertime: cook, eat out, eat prepared food, etc. Find the best solution and get through your list while inviting your husband to offer some solutions. Be open to his ideas.
3. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Women spend 2½ hours per day more than men on household chores. If you want a career and a happy family life you’re going to have to learn to delegate. You need to let your family know: “I cannot handle all the laundry, all the housework and all the carpools.” Your husband and children will have to chip in and help. Start with small things and slowly increase their responsibilities. Make sure to offer encouragement along the way but train them exactly the way you want it done. For small errands and housework it may be worth hiring help.
4. Stoke the fire. Apply your newly reclaimed time to what you passionately love doing. Is it travel? Pursuing a new career path? Exploring a talent such as writing or music? Go for it.

Here’s the bonus: when Mom feels energetic about life, the whole family benefits. And your renewal enhances your business life. So stoke up the passion and Happy Mother’s Day.
Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share how you plan to enjoy Mother’s Day year round.

I love the comforts of my home and my cozy neighborhood. Being home is like experiencing a steaming cup of green tea – it just feels right. I also love traveling to new places and have hiked and biked all over the world.

And then there’s the business travel I do for nine or 10 weeks a year. The hotels I stay in don’t come close to the comforts of home nor do they rival the remote and adventurous places I’ve been. Wherever I go though, I have to deal with one of the most deteriorating, surviving industries in the U.S. – the airline industry. But this blog is not a rant about airlines. I’ve done that one already.

Today’s blog is about happiness. I’m not one to advocate “Barbie-Dolling” it (don’t you just hate that?), but one thing I’ve learned is that the happier I am, the happier I am. Happiness is not only contagious to others, it’s contagious to ourselves. My grandmother had multiple sclerosis, yet she was one of the happiest people I’ve known. She taught me that happiness is not a condition – happiness is a choice.

I don’t always wake up happy, but wherever I am, I try to focus on the part of the experience that is good. For example, I might not like the bed in my hotel room but I am passionate about teaching and mentoring nurses in person. The CLNC^® 6-Day Certification Seminars and my speaking engagements require the occasional uncomfortable bed.

Gratitude is an antidote to unhappiness. Life will always throw us curveballs, fastballs and, just when you think you know what’s coming next, the occasional change-up. Being happy to the core helps us to hit them back – no matter how fast they are or how many come our way.

Attorneys are like you and me. They enjoy being around happy people. I recently mentored a legal nurse consulting student who refused to move out of the drama of a negative experience. For two weeks she dwelled on something that was easily solved in three minutes. My advice to her was: “Move on and choose happiness. You’ll be happier and your attorney-clients will be happier.”

That is what I wish for you too – whatever challenge you face today, choose happiness first. You’ll find it’s contagious and suddenly you’ll knock that fastball out of the park!

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share how choosing happiness can create an important shift for you.

I was speaking with a woman who wanted to start her own business. While Jean and I were talking I realized I couldn’t determine what was driving her, so being the direct person I am, I went straight for the jugular and asked her, “Why do you want to start a business?” She was equally blunt in her answer telling me, “I want money to buy nice things, a nice car, nice clothes and a nice house.” I believe in payoff, but this type of drive for starting one’s own business is, in my opinion, hardly a mission statement.

Contrast this with another young woman, Lauren, who I have mentored to start her own business. Her business model is actually more difficult, requiring investors, a large front-end capital outlay and a commercial lease, but I predict she is more likely to succeed. Why? Because, unlike the first woman who was money-driven, the second woman is driven not just by the passion of wanting to own her business, but also by the passion of the business itself. In other words, she fervently believes in what she is creating. Now that’s a formula for success.

In my 28 years of business, mentoring thousands of nurses to become successful legal nurse consultants, there’s only one common thread among the most successful ones. Successful Certified Legal Nurse Consultants are all different ages, different sizes, different nursing specialties and live in different parts of the country. They come from towns of less than 5,000 and from major metropolitan cities. So what do they have in common? Each and every one of them are passionate about the work they do and the money they earn is the byproduct of their passion.

Without the inner fire that only passion arouses, success, and I mean long term, authentic success, will elude you. Here’s the reality – money won’t get you out of bed in the morning. Of course, once you’re up it’s nice to have money, but money can never be the long-term driver for your CLNC^® business. Passion and purpose for the work need to be the fuel of your desire and your actions. You succeed at a business not because you want the monetary rewards, but because you need to succeed for your very soul.

Here’s an interesting fact, studies have shown that money does make people happier – but only up to a certain point. Once your basic needs, and a little bit more are met, your happiness is really up to you. Despite what you’ve seen on television, a Mercedes, a boat or a closet filled with Armani won’t make or keep you happy (Okay, maybe my own private jet would make me happier.). What will make you happy is having experiences full of passion and purpose. In fact, studies show that experiences produce longer lasting “highs” than does the act of buying stuff. By experiences, I’m not just talking about vacations and birthday parties, experiences also include the work you do.

That’s why I don’t believe in TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday). I believe in TGIT (Thank God It’s Today).

If you’re already a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant, recommit to your purpose and your passion and watch your CLNC^® business soar. If you’re exploring legal nurse consulting, we are here to help you decide if legal nurse consulting can be your passion and purpose. But, if your only real goal is the same purposeless ones as the unfortunate woman I described above – nice things, a nice car, nice clothes and a nice house, do me and my CLNC^® peers a favor and join a network marketing program instead. Here’s to Lauren and all the passion, purpose and success she will enjoy during her lifetime. Here’s to all of us living a life and career filled with passion and purpose.

Live and work your passion and you’ll never “work” a day in your life.

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	You can always “Show me the money!” later.
P.P.S.	Comment and share what drives you to be a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant or what drives you to grow your CLNC® business.

Last week I was mentoring an RN who had just over twenty years of nursing experience. She had one of those backgrounds and skill sets that should have been the envy of the staff around her. She was considering a nursing career change and wanted to talk to me about legal nurse consulting. I asked what was holding her back from making a change and she told me flat out that it was fear. She was afraid to make a move that would affect her life, either for the positive or for the negative. I asked her how long she’d been considering a change and she told me three years – after a friend of hers had become a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant.

Her situation reminded me of a skydiving experience I had several years ago. In skydiving, you’re either out of the plane doing it or on the ground watching others free-fall. You’ll never experience the thrill unless you step out yourself.

For years I said I would never step out of an airplane unless it was with my two feet firmly planted on an air-conditioned jetway. I don’t care for cliff-hanging heights and I never really saw the point in skydiving.

Then one Saturday, I found myself stepping out of an open airplane door at 14,000 feet. The only other time I’d tasted air at that altitude was with my feet on the ground in the shadow of Mount Everest. Jumping out of an airplane was a much bigger step for me than hiking in the Himalayas. The experience brought back potent memories of my early fears in starting my legal nurse consulting business and reminded me of the success lessons I’d learned from facing those fears.

Success Lesson #1 – Face Your Fears and Commit to Step Out in Your CLNC^® Business.

Why did I choose to step out? When three fearless, thrill-seeking staffers from Vickie Milazzo Institute decided to try skydiving, I felt I had no choice but to confront my fear of heights head on. After all, wasn’t I always the one advocating the virtues of risk taking? The timing of this adventure seemed poor since someone on my staff had recently talked to a nurse whose skydiving accident left her a paraplegic. Nevertheless, I committed to this adventure; and most important, to step out.

Success Lesson #2 – Set Challenging Yet Achievable Goals as a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant.

I had one goal and one goal only, and that was to step out. No fancy aerobatics – I wasn’t even prepared to jump solo like the paralyzed nurse had. Yet to meet my goal of jumping tandem, I had to step out voluntarily. Being pushed out did not qualify.

Success Lesson #3 – Take Formal Classes to Prepare for Stepping Out.

Even to jump tandem I needed instruction. One of the prerequisites for stepping out was to watch a video and take part in a one-hour class. The video was guaranteed to scare off anyone who was easily intimidated. It contained no less than five warnings about serious injury or death. I also had to sign a 10-page waiver that mentioned serious injury or death at least 10 times.

The instructor wisely balanced the seriousness of what we were doing by discussing the fun we would have and joking throughout the class. As the stress and anxiety among us mounted, giggles escalated into loud laughter. It made no sense, but I was strangely comforted by the fact that I was not the only person who was nervous.

Success Lesson #4 – Give Yourself Permission to Be Less Than Perfect Whether You Are Launching or Growing Your Legal Nurse Consulting Business.

Beyond my one goal of stepping out, I wasn’t concerned about anything else. I gave myself permission to forget everything I learned in class, do everything wrong and scream all the way down if that brought me comfort. If necessary, I could rely on my tandem master for everything and still have a safe trip down.

Success Lesson #5 – Check the Credentials and Success Status of Anyone Who Advises You. To Feel Safe and Accelerate Your Learning Process, Learn from a Master.

Before stepping out, I interviewed my tandem master, Scott, to assess his skydiving credentials. My spirits lightened dramatically when I learned he had made 4,500 jumps and competed internationally. It felt especially auspicious when he added that his first skydiving experience was in the womb at 6 months gestation. He was clearly passionate about skydiving, and I instantly felt safe with him. If I was going to entrust my life to someone, surely Scott was a good choice.

Success Lesson #6 – Own Your Fears and Share Them with Mentors You Trust.

I owned up to my fear and was heartened further by my tandem master’s encouragement and lack of judgment about my fear.

Success Lesson #7 – Know That It’s Never Too Late to Live Your Dream.

Scott boosted my courage even more by sharing that one of his clients skydived for the first time on her 85th birthday, again on her 86th birthday and again on her 87th, at which time she declared she wasn’t sure she could wait another year to do it again.

Success Lesson #8 – Choose for Yourself. Don’t Let Anyone Else Talk You Out of Your Dreams. Discard All Discouraging Messages.

That encouraging message triumphed over an earlier discouraging message by one of my staffers who was not skydiving that day. She and several others had joined us in our adventure as spectators.

She voiced her own fear with, “I can’t believe you’re really going to do this.” When I playfully reminded her that I thought she was there to encourage me, not discourage me, she said, “I’m here to talk you out of it.” Knowing she was expressing her fear from a place of love and concern, I chose to discard her message, still appreciating that she cared.

Success Lesson #9 – Surround Yourself with Friends, Family and Peers Who Encourage You to Live Your Dream.

After class, we had to wait 4½ hours to step out. Soon, she too, along with the Vickie Milazzo Institute team who came to watch, cheer and offer support from the ground, joined in celebrating. We had fun together as we waited and I trusted sharing this ride with my Vickie Milazzo Institute team on the ground and in the air.

Success Lesson #10 – Enjoy the Ride Along the Way. It Will Last Longer Than the Event Itself.

The truth is, we spent a lot more time on the ground than we did in the air (less than 5 minutes). The 4½-hour wait seemed eerily both like an eternity and like a brief moment. I was glad we had our Vickie Milazzo Institute team to party with while waiting. It definitely took my mind off my fear of stepping out.

Success Lesson #11 – HAVE FUN!

Scott wanted only one thing from me. Right before I stepped out, he said, “If you forget everything, it’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. I’ll be with you all the way. Your only goal today is to have fun.” I thought it was a good idea to add FUN to my simple goal of stepping out. So, now I was going to have fun stepping out.

Success Lesson #12 – Take All the Steps Necessary to Achieve Your Legal Nurse Consulting Goal.

Once they called our jump-load, everything happened quickly. I put on my jumpsuit, and Scott helped me get into the harness. This simple act confirmed that I was in the hands of a calm, confident expert (or at least I felt that way).

I stepped onto the plane, putting on my best fake-calm face at the sight of the door that was to remain open for most of the flight. Scott talked to me the whole time to help me relax. When it was almost time to step out, everything shifted into high gear. I put on my helmet and goggles. Scott hooked my harness to his, assuring me that with each of the four connections, we were securely attached.

Suddenly, the two jumpers before me were gone, and it was my turn to step out. Moving toward the open door, I remembered the instructor’s motto, “Once you get in the plane, ‘No, No, No’ means ‘Go, Go, Go.’” Knowing I was about to leave the safety of this crude plane seemed almost surreal. Now it was time to apply what I had learned.

Success Lesson #13 – Step Out! It’s Scary but Worth Every Second.

I couldn’t learn to fly merely by hanging out at the flight center, watching a video, taking a class, watching someone else do it or by reading a book. I had to JUST DO IT! And I did. I stepped out. I accomplished my simple, but extremely difficult goal. The 60-second free fall at 120 miles per hour was both scary and exhilarating – and probably the longest 60 seconds of my life.

Success Lesson #14 – Embrace the Challenges You’re Capable of Handling in Your CLNC^® Business Today and Expand Your Knowledge and Experience so You Can Tackle More Complex Challenges for Your CLNC^® Future.

My body position was less than perfect. At this fast and furious speed Scott helped me arch into a better, yet still less-than-perfect position.

Meanwhile, the videographer jumping with us had to cut away from his malfunctioning main parachute, which had put him into a life-threatening spin. He relied on his extensive experience and training to calmly cut the cord and release his reserve chute. He continued to the ground where he completed filming my jump – all without blinking an eye. From a safe distance I was able to appreciate the complexities of this sport, and I was glad I wasn’t yet called upon to confront such a challenge.

Success Lesson #15 – Experience Every Aspect of Your CLNC^® Goals Fully and Celebrate Each Stepping Out Along the Way.

When my 60-second free fall was over and my parachute opened, the pace of the experience quickly changed from a gallop to stillness and quiet. Houston is not known for its natural beauty, but the sinking sun never seemed more beautiful (even more beautiful than sipping sundowners on the Serengeti) than from my sky-high vantage point. The most exhilarating feeling of all was my feet hitting the familiar ground I had left only minutes before. I landed smoothly and easily, knowing I had done it. The champagne we all shared afterwards was the sweetest I’ve ever tasted.

To the RN who I mentored and all nurses and Certified Legal Nurse Consultants, I ask, “Do you have fears keeping you from stepping out to live your big dreams?” Launching and growing a legal nurse consulting business is a lot like skydiving, and the same success lessons apply. You have to step out if you want to fly high.

Step out to fly high today.

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share your stepping out experiences or your fears of stepping out as a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant.

One thing I know about nurses is that you didn’t get into nursing for the big bucks, the big raises or the big perks (like the cafeteria food, going four hours without a restroom break or the five-minute lunch hour). To do everything that nurses do every day, you have to be wired by passion, by a fire that drives you to make a difference in the lives you hold in your hands. Nurses have the strength of fire and passion. But are you as fired up about nursing today as when you first started? If not, what are you fired up about?

I remember my own fear of fire, or at least my fear of losing my own fire and passion. In 1982, after six years in nursing, unsatisfied with the career choice I made, I woke up to the fear of becoming like so many other nurses at the hospital – burned out, exhausted, the spark gone. A voice in my head said “Vickie, forget Code Blue. It’s time to Code You.” I faced a decision: Step out into the unknown or spend the rest of my life working as a hospital nurse.

My dream was to start a legal nurse consulting business advising attorneys on medical-related cases. Afraid to step out, I settled for reading business books instead. Then, one day I thought about how easy it was for me to resuscitate a dying patient – I could practically do it in my sleep. You know what I’m talking about and may even have resuscitated a few patients that way yourself. So I asked myself, what could be so hard about resuscitating my own career and life by just stepping out and going for it?

With only $100 in my savings account, I stepped out and called my first attorney-prospect to offer my services as a legal nurse consultant. To my horror he answered the phone. About to hang up, I told myself: “If he was wearing a hospital gown with his backside showing, I would have no problem introducing myself and inserting a Foley catheter so Vickie, just talk to him.” I sputtered out something that I’m sure was unintelligible, and despite that clumsy start, he became my first client. Stepping out for what I wanted gave me the freedom to live and work my passions.

For me, success is not about the achievement. It’s not the pay raise, promotion or the prize at the end. The real achievement comes from just stepping out. Every time we step out into the unknown, win or lose, we succeed. I might break a leg or invest in a losing business idea. But I won’t end up at my 90th birthday party with nothing more than stale white cake and regrets about the paths not taken. I understand that bad things can happen when we step out, but I believe worse things happen to our souls when we don’t.

If you’re at a crossroads in your nursing career, stuck in your nursing job and feel you’re not living passionately, try stepping out and exploring new options. Find or create something you can be on fire about. If fear is holding you back, start with baby steps. I started my legal nurse consulting business part-time while still working extra shifts at the hospital to pay my mortgage. I really had nothing to lose and everything to gain. There’s a certain freedom to being a nurse and knowing that if you do step out and fail, you’ve got your hospital nursing experience as a terrific safety net to fall back on. That thought alone should give you the courage to step out.

Remember, life is too short to live it with regrets. Step out and try something new, something daring or just something different. It doesn’t have to be legal nurse consulting. I just want you to live a life of your choosing, not one of your surrender. Take a few minutes today and consider those dreams you’ve put aside. This might be the perfect time to act on them.

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share what you will be doing for yourself in 2010 to ignite your fire.

Powerful, strong entrepreneurs have one common trait – they are passionate about their business. In today’s post, Beverly Denver, the publisher of Houston Woman Magazine talks with me about what drives passion in successful entrepreneurs. Certified Legal Nurse Consultants will find Beverly’s insights especially applicable to your CLNC^® businesses.

Success Is Inside!

P.S.	Comment and share how passion for your legal nurse consulting business has changed you.

Legal nurse consulting may not be for you, but if you decide it is, then you owe it to yourself to go for it or reject it outright. Don’t leave the dream dangling with that one day someday I’ll get around to it attitude.

If you want to become a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant, don’t wait for conditions to be perfect – won’t happen. When I was working in the hospital, I knew many nurses who had dreams, but they didn’t go for their dreams. I went to a lot of retirement parties for those nurses. And you know what they got: a glass of watery punch and a piece of white cake. And the punch wasn’t even spiked with anything interesting.

Dreams can make a person miserable. Going for your dreams is what makes us authentically happy. To paraphrase Yoda, “There is no try. There is either do or not do.” Own up to your passions, then step out and grab hold of them with both hands.

Despite a fear of cliff-hanging heights, I stepped out of an airplane at 14,000 feet to skydive. I was terrified. Once out of the plane’s cabin I couldn’t step back in. I was truly committed, even if not by choice, and the exhilaration I felt later at overcoming that lifelong fear proved to be a catalyst for future accomplishments.

Most of us stay in the safe cabin of everyday life. We never step out into the audacious dreams that smolder and spark inside us. What would your life look like if you didn’t have the choice of that safe cabin? If your only option was to grab that dream and jump into it? To go all the way once you made the jump?

It’s perfectly okay to admit that a commitment is not right for you and to reject it outright.

What’s not okay is to hold back and put less than everything into a commitment that is your passion. If you want something, like a new career in legal nurse consulting, go for it all the way and go for it now. When you do, you’ll wake up every day to a life and career you love.

Success Is Inside!

P.S. Comment and share what you will do to go all the way in your legal nurse consulting business.