While visiting Taktsang Palphug Monastery in Bhutan (also known as “The Tiger’s Nest”) I had the opportunity to speak to a monk who introduced me to the Tibetan Buddhist term “bardo,” which without getting too deeply into it can be translated as “the between moment.”

Vickie & Tom at "The Tiger's Nest"

Bardo is that period where you’re not occupied or busy with your life or legal nurse consulting business. In fact, you’re not occupied with anything but just being. It’s when you’re stopped at a red light or sitting and waiting outside an attorney-client’s office or sipping a cup of healthy green tea before your day kicks in.

Life is full of busy moments, significant moments and bardo moments. I often joke that I’m always “blowing and going” but when I’m not, those “between” moments are often the ones I use to do my deepest thinking and my personal restoration.

The next time you’re experiencing a bardo moment, don’t be bored or restless, reaching for your smart phone. Just enjoy it. Dive deep into yourself or better yet, into nothingness.

Success Is Inside!

At least once a day I hear someone say, “When I lose that 10 pounds I’ll be happy” or “When I get one more attorney-client for my legal nurse consulting business I’ll be happy” or “I’ll be really happy when my husband finally cleans out the garage.” Seeking happiness or anything else we desire outside of where we are now, or making our happiness dependent upon some extraordinary incident occurring, pins those expectations on the future.

The problem with that mindset is we don’t live in the future we live in the now, simple ordinary times filled with simple ordinary events. Sometimes extraordinary incidents (like being the CLNC^® consultant involved in a $20 million verdict) will happen, but those moments pass and their resulting happiness will pass too. It’s in this very moment that we must find our happiness, in our day to day living, such as interacting with a CLNC^® subcontractor or doing the research on a case.

Life isn’t a journey to happiness; it’s a journey in happiness. Some of the career benefits of becoming a CLNC^® consultant are being able to set your own hours and have more time with your family. It’s within those extra hours that you’ll find plenty of opportunities to experience the happiness you deserve: the sound of your children laughing, working really hard on a challenging case for your favorite attorney-client or simply prepping dinner.

Certainly extraordinary incidents will bring you joy, but on a daily basis you’re more likely to experience an ordinary one. Take a moment to enjoy them now. For the moment, this moment is all you’ve got.

Success Is Inside!

P.S. Comment and share what you’re finding joy in right now.

It’s a new year and I am reminded of a line from Sex and the City: “You don’t want to peak in high school.” Life and career are so much more interesting and satisfying when you constantly strive for your next peak. While most of your friends, family and coworkers have moved far past high school, you probably know someone who is still living, or constantly reliving, a “glory day” of scoring a winning point in a sports event, nailing a promotion or getting the biggest law firm in the city as a client for her CLNC^® business.

I’ve hit a few personal and professional peaks of my own: appearing on National Public Radio, Fox & Friends, becoming a New York Times bestselling author and staying happily married for 21 years. But I don’t want to be buried with any of those peaks as my crowning lifetime achievement. Why? Because I don’t want to peak – ever!

Some days we peak higher than others, and that can be okay. For example, I recently hiked in the Rincon mountains outside of Tucson, Arizona. It was a beautiful fall morning and our trail steadily climbed up and down until we reached the top of one mountain where we had a wonderful picnic lunch. There were higher and lower peaks around us, but the peak where we had lunch was a sunny, warm spot with a view of the Mission San Xavier del Bac in the distance as a bonus. That peak was perfect for that day, even though I’ve hiked more challenging trails.

People who never stop peaking are happier because they have something to look forward to besides the distant memory of past peaks, or even worse, high school.

Let’s all keep peaking in 2012! Happy New Year!

Success Is Inside!

I hope that you share and enjoy this holiday season with those you love and that all of your holiday wishes come true. Remember, even a lump of coal is a gift (but I hope you do better than that)! Let’s all keep true to the spirit of the holiday and keep the true meaning of Christmas in our hearts.

Happy Holidays!

Success Is Inside!

As this holiday season comes into full bloom, with only four days left until Christmas and the inevitable aftermath of torn wrapping paper and dirty dinner dishes, I’d like to take a moment to discuss the best Christmas “present” you can give yourself. That present is being present – present in the moment with full attention and intention, not living with an eye on the past or looking to the future. It means living fully in the current moment – whether that moment is with your family, friends, legal nurse consulting business or attorney-clients.

As many of you already know, I have a morning tradition of waking up to two cups of healthy green tea. With the first cup, I take time to enrich my soul, set my intention for the day and, more importantly, give myself the present of starting the day by being present. This practice helps to prepare me for the upcoming frenzy and, while it doesn’t guarantee my day will be stress-free, it does guarantee that I’m better equipped to deal with the madness.

So buy yourself or your loved ones a Christmas gift – the present of being present. Here are three different resources that can help give you, or your loved ones, the present of being present.

The first is A Course In Miracles by Dr. Helen Schucman, a text that has the power to change your daily practices of living, learning, loving and meditating through a series of lessons and exercises. It’s not an easy read and is one of the most challenging books I have ever read, but if your mind is open it can transform all your relationships, whether spiritual or physical.

Second is Five Good Minutes: 100 Morning Practices to Help You Stay Calm and Focused All Day Long by Jeffrey Brantley and Wendy Millstone. What I love about this resource is that while everyone may not be willing to get up early enough to have two cups of tea, anyone can find five minutes in their morning. This is a quick and easy way to train yourself to become present and start your day with calm.

My final recommendation is Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron. I must admit I was first attracted to this book by the title, and being familiar with Pema’s other works, I didn’t hesitate to pick it up. It’s a great way to learn how to use meditation as a way of life, not just a practice.

Life is challenging enough without taking time for ourselves. Reading any one of these books won’t change your life immediately – think of them as seeds that will help you grow into all that you are meant to be. Give yourself the present of being present this Christmas and in the New Year.

Success Is Inside!

This weekend I am privileged to be presenting the Women Embracing Leadership events with Stedman Graham. I confess that when I was a young nurse, “leadership” was a word that didn’t get my juices going. It was too traditional and boring for this renegade nurse who didn’t fit in an institutional hospital environment.

Since then, I have learned that leadership is one of the most provocative and exciting words in the dictionary because it applies to how we show up in every situation every second of the day. For some of us, leadership does involve managing others and being in charge of a situation, but leadership first and foremost is about leading ourselves.

Success or failure is the result of thousands of decisions, actions and reactions. Almost every time I mentor a student who is struggling, that student has failed to be a leader in one or more of those decisions, actions and reactions.

Our leadership is tested and challenged not only when things go our way, but also when they don’t. Commit to lead yourself in the most consistent and congruent way each and every day. When you do, you open yourself up to opportunities beyond your imagination.

Lead yourself and CLNC^® success will be yours.

Success Is Inside!

We all know the person whose life would be totally different and of course much better if only “Y” had happened instead of “X.” The mantra never changes. “If Y had happened, then I could have done X” or “If only W had done Z, then my life would be different” or “If Q was different, I’d be different” and, my personal favorite, “If only Y had happened, I’d be happy or successful or married,” or whatever.

What successful people, especially successful Certified Legal Nurse Consultants, do is live in the world of “what next”, not in the world of “what if”. If an attorney-prospect says “I’m interested, let’s stay in touch”, the CLNC^® consultant knows what’s next and does just that. The CLNC^® consultant doesn’t go into the space of “If the attorney had just given me the case today, I’d be on my way to quitting my job at the hospital.”

The first attorney-prospect I connected with asked me to call him two weeks later because he was preparing for trial. I waited two weeks and called, but he never returned my call. I called again; he still didn’t return my call. I called a fourth time and on that day he took the call. The rest is my legal nurse consulting history. It wasn’t easy during those waiting periods, but I stayed out of the “what if” space and just continued to move in the “what’s next” space. I didn’t allow “If he didn’t have that trial then…” or “If he’d just returned my phone call then…”; if I had, I predict I never would have made the fourth call and I wouldn’t be where I am today.

The only “what ifs” in your life and your legal nurse consulting business should be the “what if” questions you ask yourself about what you should be doing at this very moment.

• What if I make five sales calls right now?
• What if I practice my interview questions before I meet with that attorney-prospect?
• What if I call that attorney-client back right now?
• What if I turn off that TV and turn on my commitment to taking action on my legal nurse consulting business?

Now it’s my turn to ask you a “what if” question. What if you did all these things you know you’re supposed to do? Answer: Hmmm.

Success Is Inside!

When I’m at home, I love being home. There’s nothing better than sleeping in my own bed and enjoying a cup of healthy green tea with my bamboo clicking away outside.

I’m on the road for 9-10 weeks a year for business, and I try to find something to enjoy in each city I visit. Sometimes it’s going back to a favored restaurant or discovering a new “favorite,” visiting with a friend or just taking a walk in a botanical garden after working inside all day at one of our CLNC^® 6-Day Certification Seminars.

When I’m on the East Coast, my business day ends later because my office is an hour behind. Instead of focusing on the late night I’m going to have, I focus on enjoying the extra hour of quiet I’ll get in the morning before my office comes alive, my iPhone starts ringing off the table and the email starts flooding in.

When I’m on the West Coast, my business day starts earlier. Instead of focusing on the fact that my office will start looking for me at 6:00am, I focus on the quiet time I will get at the end of my business day when the office has been long closed. With everyone gone for the day and offline, I have uninterrupted time to go out with speakers and friends, to enjoy dinner, laughter and a healthy glass of red wine together.

I have a love/hate relationship with air travel, an industry that just keeps getting worse. Don’t get me started on airline service, airport food or the TSA pat-downs – I don’t have space in this blog. But when I’m finally in the air where no one can disturb me, I put on my Bose^® headset, play some music on my iPod^®, pop open my laptop and get deep into the rare and cherished uninterrupted work time.

Certified Legal Nurse Consultants who look for the good in every situation, look past any perceived difficulties and look for the silver lining are not only the happiest, they’re also the most successful. Sure, you can focus on the five outstanding, urgent voicemails waiting for you while deadlines loom large, or you can take an optimistic view and see where that takes you. Building tolerance for less than optimal situations builds upon your strength of endurance.

Attorneys come in all shapes and sizes, so it’s only natural that you’ll have favorites and not-so-favorites. When I mentor a CLNC^® consultant who is complaining about an attorney, I’ll counsel that CLNC^® consultant to enjoy the challenge or to find something positive about the attorney and to focus on that trait instead. Sometimes it may be more difficult to find that positive trait than other times, but in the end it will be worth it for your mental health and your Certified Legal Nurse Consulting business. I’m sure you know the saying “Wherever you go, there you are.” You may as well be happy both along the way and when you get to your final destination.

Success Is Inside!

Many of you know I share my birthday with my twin brother Vince. (No, we’re not identical, he’s my brother.) When we were teenagers, our parents took us to the local roller-skating rink for our birthday party. All of our friends came and we were soon skating clockwise around the rink, all at different speeds and at different levels of skill.

As you can imagine, Vince and his friends were flying around the rink like the teenage boys they were, trailing testosterone and intentionally zooming in and out among my teenage girlfriends, trying to frighten us, impress us or both.

That is, all the boys but one. Changing the names to protect the relatively innocent, the star athlete, Danny, couldn’t skate. He’d apparently never been on skates before, but to his credit, was gamely shuffling around the outside of the rink with one hand hovering near the safety of the handrail. The girls were all laughing as we zoomed past him!

Then about a half hour into the party, Danny took a fall and to his horror, split his pants from front to back. Now, you’d think that a macho football player would call it quits right there and then. Instead, he stood up, took off his sweater, tied it around his waist to cover the split and got right back to shuffling around the rink. He stayed for the rest of the party and you’d never have guessed from the fun he was having that anything had happened.

To this day I recall with fond memories how much heart Danny showed, not just by taking on something he wasn’t very good at, roller-skating, in front of all his friends who celebrated his athletic prowess, but especially the heart he showed in staying in the game after splitting his pants.

What about you? How much heart do you put into your CLNC^® business even when you split your pants right in front of your attorney-clients? Do you get back up on your CLNC^® skates and get back on the rink or do you sit on the sidelines?

Like a roller rink, legal nurse consulting isn’t always smooth skating. Some days you’ll fly around the rink with your attorney-client’s praise, others you’ll be shuffling along with that difficult case you’re working on and you may even take a fall. But if it starts to get rough, think of Danny shuffling around that rink with his split pants; show some heart and get back on the legal nurse consulting rink. Before you know it you’ll be at the party with your CLNC^® peers.

Here’s the funniest part of this story – Danny went on to become a professional football player with our hometown Saints. But as far as I know he never went skating again.

Success Is Inside!