November 2009

This morning, while having my cup of healthy green tea, I looked over and found Tom reading a hardback copy of Next of Kin by Joanna Trollope. After the double-take, I asked him where he’d found it and he told me “on your bookshelf.” Then I remembered, all the books on the bookshelf I’ve talked about in my earlier blog are ones that we’ve read and, for whatever reason, have decided to keep. They’re paperbacks, hardbacks, a few legacy books, novels, biographies, travel books, fiction, science fiction (Tom), history, one on gardening that must have been a gift and my book Inside Every Woman published in English, Vietnamese, Polish, Indonesian and Chinese (Soon to be joined by the Korean version!).

The book Tom was reading came from another set of bookshelves, one in the closet of my home office where I keep a different array of books. The closet contains my law books, my published works on legal nurse consulting, medical references and most importantly, all the books that we haven’t yet read. You know, the ones you get for birthdays, Christmas or just buy and put up to read later. We’re voracious readers and even more voracious book buyers.

I asked Tom what he thought about the Trollope book and he told me it was pretty good – he’d read half the book and he was enjoying it even without a single terrorist being blown up. That made me think, what sort of books are you reading? Do you ever read books outside your own favorite genre? Or do you get stuck in the rut of reading one type of book just like you do with your morning cereal – rarely a change in variety, just different portion sizes.

As Certified Legal Nurse Consultants we’re busy. I know one CLNC^® consultant who reads nothing but murder mysteries and another who rarely reads for fun at all. I believe that it’s essential for Certified Legal Nurse Consultants to read a rich and varied diet. Just as you can’t feed a thoroughbred horse a diet of potato chips and expect him to win the Kentucky Derby, you can’t feed your mind a steady diet of nothing but trash novels or People magazine and expect to perform to your best ability. The books we read influence not just our thoughts but our way of thinking, the things we concern ourselves with and where we apply our ultimate energy and efforts.

I have three books on my night stand. One is for my emotional and spiritual development and two are for pure relaxation. My business books are banned from the bedroom and live only in my office.

Take a moment to look at your own bookshelves or your bed stand. What books are in your personal library? Was the last book you read something that enriched your legal nurse consulting business or you personally, something that challenged your mind or just a fun read?

Is it time to stretch your tastebuds?

Success Is Inside!

Whenever you visit a website, you’re presented with a lot of information. The Vickie Milazzo Institute’s LegalNurse.com website offers by my estimate somewhere around 1,005,402 pages (more or less) of legal nurse consulting information. When you’re shopping to make a decision about an expenditure whether it’s to support your career as a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant, to buy a CD or book from Amazon.com, a new computer from HP.com or something as simple as a new business blouse from Sears.com for that important attorney-client interview, you’re presented with a dazzling array of “seals” and “trust marks” of quality from different organizations. Some are real, some are genuine and some are not. Some are “sound-a-likes” for other famous brands and more than a few trustmarks are images which have been improperly copied and pasted.

How does the average Certified Legal Nurse Consultant (no such thing since all CLNC^® consultants are above average) tell the difference? Well my CLNC^® amigos, you’ve come to the right place. First of all when you’re faced with a “seal of approval” you have to ask yourself what it means. My favorite seal is the Better Business Bureau or BBB. The BBB has been in the business of protecting consumers almost as long as there have been consumers to protect. (I’d bet that whoever really said “There’s a sucker born every minute.” wasn’t a member of the BBB.)

Vickie Milazzo Institute has been a member of the BBB since 2000 and has met the BBB’s online standards since 2002. That says a lot to me. But what do other seals say? Well, it depends on the seal. There are probably more bogus seals out there than there are real seals at the Houston Zoo. Some seal sponsors require that a member pay an upfront amount followed by monthly dues and so long as you’re a dues-paying member, you’re approved. My Sears.com example above is NOT an approved business by the Online Better Business Bureau (which should not be confused with the “genuine” Better Business Bureau also known as the BBBOnline^®.) – See how confusing it can be? As an educated Certified Legal Nurse Consultant, you decide.

There are lots of examples of legitimate seals and trust marks out there – Verisign, TRUSTe, McAfee and more. There are also a lot of questionable seals. Don’t take the presence of a seal as a sign of quality. Go to the seal sponsor’s site and see if they rate the company displaying the seal, don’t just click on the seal to see where it takes you. It’s easy to right-click and copy a TRUSTe seal and then paste it into your site. A real seal or trust mark will link back to the site that promulgates it and often to a page dedicated to that merchant.

A site can also get a low rating from the “real” BBB and still obtain seals for Internet security (real or fake). Sophisticated sites can even create a fake BBB or other rating page and post it on their own site. Remember to look at the URL of the link “proclaiming” that A+++ rating. If the URL isn’t linking back to BBB.org or the proper sponsor, it’s not real. As a Certified Legal Nurse Consultant, you owe it to yourself to also do an Internet search to learn more about the organization that sponsors the rating. Unfortunately, I’m seeing more and more scam sites out there supporting each other.

For Vickie Milazzo Institute and for my own Internet shopping, I’ll keep relying on the “real” Better Business Bureau and not on any phony “seals of approval.”

Keep on Techin’ (and shopping safely),

Tom

I have a nursing friend who’s overweight and she really wants to lose the extra pounds. I’ve watched her and listened to her stories as she has tried just about everything. She’s done the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, and the Atkins, South Park, South Beach, Long Beach and Muscle Beach diets. Each one lasted less than a week. Her lack of success at controlling her weight motivates me to stick with my plan of eating healthy, clean, no sugar and to exercise at least five times a week – no matter what; no excuses! She’s now considering lap band surgery and yet another weight management support group.

We all did psych rotations in nursing school. So here’s a question. Why doesn’t group therapy work? Is it because we put a psych patient who has a particular problem in with a group of other psych patients with like problems and then we wonder why they don’t act normal. How can they even know what normal looks like?

I wonder if the ultimate peer pressure is not to rise above a group, but to remain at the same level as everyone else in the group? I’m going to take a position here that’s going to be controversial. I don’t believe that the best way to achieve something is to hang out with other people who haven’t achieved their own goals – whether shared or different from yours.

Let me state it another way; if you want to lose weight, hang with people who have successfully managed to lose weight and keep it off instead of hanging with people who have the same food or behavioral addictions and are not managing their weight. If you want to learn to play golf, you don’t hang with someone who is a bad player. Instead you take lessons from a professional or at least someone with high-level skills.

To learn legal nurse consulting you don’t learn from someone who is unable to make it as a legal nurse consultant and whose teaching materials are derived solely from the works of another. Instead you learn from someone with a proven track record in consulting, teaching and creating successful nurse entrepreneurs. Look at anyone who has succeeded in life. If you want to learn any game, sport or profession, you do so from a winner or master, not someone who has only failed again and again.

My friend has fallen into what I call the culture of losers. Rather than do the hard work of getting on an exercise program, regulating her diet, cooking healthy foods at home and exercising self-control and self-discipline, she’s found a support group of other people with similar issues who can sit around together and feel good about failing, week after week. As much as American society loves winners, individually we seem to be more comfortable embracing a culture of losers.

Think about your hospital or workplace. Generally there are two groups of people: the ones who are successful, movers and shakers on a fast track and the other who have risen, to what I like to think of, as the level of their own incompetence. You know which ones are which. First there are the ones out there working hard, getting promoted; the ones with “snap.” Then there is the coffee clache culture of people who spend their time complaining and whining about their situations.

Let’s face the facts. People who are successful tend to hang with other people who are successful, not with people who are complaining about someone else’s success. Which way do you gravitate? I go to a number of professional conferences each year. At one of my favorites, there are three clearly defined groups: (1) worked hard to be successful and are, (2) working hard to be successful and probably will be and (3) working hard at complaining and will probably never be successful.

Group three always gives me pause. You can easily spot them together by their glum, dour looks. You’ll hear them exchanging failed strategies and remonstrating about what are often good strategies. Why aren’t they hanging with any successful people from group 1? They didn’t learn a thing other than they still weren’t successful and didn’t even have the insight to learn why.

Is it time to change the group you hang with? Think about it like this: Are you comfortable with the fact that the longer you sit in a puddle, the wetter you’re going to get? I’m hoping your answer is an unqualified “no” and you’ll realize that you have to get up and get moving on your own.

My friend has every skill she needs to lose her additional weight. I know her family and she’s certainly the exception to her family’s rule. Her issue isn’t genetic, it’s motivational. It’s time for her to change her support group from a lack of support for change to an active support to change. Instead of going to a meeting where everyone understands and commiserates over how they needed that extra half-gallon of Haagen-Daas dulce de leche after a performance review and how they’ll do better next week, she needs someone who will support her in taking responsibility for her weight. If we’re not accountable for our own results, we won’t ever take full responsibility for our choices.

I’ve mentored Certified Legal Nurse Consultants since 1982 and one thing I know for certain is that there is no success gene. There are people who become successful entrepreneurs and people who don’t.  But it’s not genetics, it’s work. Occasionally someone will be in the right place at the right time, but you may as well start buying lottery tickets if you think that’s going to be you. Camp Buck-Up isn’t open yet so you’ll have to take responsibility for your own life and success. No one else is responsible.

It’s time to start working towards success, whether it’s in weight loss, your CLNC^® business, your family life or current job. Be one of those that people model after, not one that they use as a bad example. The view from the top is meant to be shared. Find someone who’s there to share it with, not someone who’s never seen it.

Here’s looking at you kid.

Tom has a T-shirt he picked up in Fiji a couple of years ago while on his quest to dive with hammerhead sharks. It says, “You can run out of air and die. You can get bitten by a shark and die or you can fall off the couch and die. Get off the couch and into the water!”

I love the pithiness of T-shirt philosophy – even when it seems that the same twisted mind writes them all. The slogans distill our thoughts, humor and fears into easy-to-laugh at sound-bites. “No matter where you go there you are” is an insightful reminder that external factors don’t control our happiness. I once saw a T-shirt with a seated Buddha, making a mudra with the same hand that was holding a hot dog, the caption – “Make me one with everything.” Cracked me up right on the spot. “Your mother was right about me” is one that always makes me nostalgic about the fact that Tom never got to meet my mom.

If I were to put my personal favorites on a T-shirt to wear for fun, they’d read, “Put down the phone and drive,” “Life is good all the time” and “Happiness is a choice.” The T-shirts I’d wear to work would say, “Today is the first day of the rest of the work-week” or “Just do it – NOW!”

What nurse, or legal nurse consultant, won’t crack up over a T-shirt that says, “Great veins,” “My catheter bag’s on the other leg,” “Rehab is for quitters,” “DNR (by popular request)” or “Nursing, it can make strong men weep.” Belly laughs all around.

I’m even thinking of creating my own line of CLNC^® wear for my future Camp Buck-Up. They’ll have all sorts of catchy phrases like, “Lead, follow or get out of the way!,” “We were all born crying – time to outgrow it” and “Whining and complaining are NOT competitive sports.” If I get contemplative about business, perhaps I’d offer the Zen-like shirt “After the marketing, the marketing.”

T-shirt philosophy captures not only pop culture but also our 140 character Twitter/texting culture too. At the same time, it reflects our fears, our prejudices and sometimes our beliefs, all on a pre-shrunk cotton billboard that we can change as quickly, and as often, as we change our minds.

Tomorrow when you start working on your legal nurse consulting business, what T-shirt will you put on? What will be the first thought in your day, the one you’d want or wouldn’t want others to see and judge you by? Will it be positive or negative? Will it be something irreverent? That thought on your T-shirt tells you everything you need to know about the success of your day and the success of your CLNC^® business.

Success Is Inside!

Last week I talked about what to do when you or someone not close to you anymore, spills a drink onto your laptop. This week I’ll discuss something that’s even more common – a wet cell phone. We’ve all seen or heard legal nurse consultants on their cell phones in the restroom, working by the pool, in the rain or snow or just being careless. Eventually, during your legal nurse consulting career, you’re going to do one of three things (four if you count throwing it at a difficult attorney-client) to your cell phone: drop it and break it, lose it or drop it into something very wet and bad for it.

Just like a spill onto a laptop, there are varying degrees of nastiness that can happen with a wet cell phone. It all depends on what we’ve dropped our phone into. A simple spill or dunking in water or other plain unsweetened liquid may not be so disastrous. Simply pull the battery out as quickly as possible. Don’t stop to say goodbye to that attorney-client if you’re on the phone when you step into the deep pool of water. You want to avoid shorting out any electronics. Keep the back off the phone, pull out the SIM card if you can (slide the holder back then lift out the card), shake the water out of the phone and disassemble it as much as you can (usually it’s not much). If it’s an iPhone (I don’t know why any Certified Legal Nurse Consultant would want one of these), you should try and open it up. You can use any small plastic wedge along the seam to do this – I recommend using plastic and not something metal. What’s the right piece of plastic? Our contract techie used a guitar pick on his – but he said he was just taking it apart to see what was inside, not because he dropped it in the loo (yeah, sure).

Next, set the pieces in a warm dry place. Avoid direct sunlight as you want to keep condensation from forming on the unseen parts. Let it sit for a day or so and then (here’s the fun part) bury the pieces in a large bowl of dry, uncooked rice (white or brown, long-grain or short). Yes, I did say dry, uncooked rice (Note to self: Cooked rice did not work). Let it sit buried for at least two days, three if you can. While it’s drying out, dry yourself out from your cell phone addiction. Let people know you’ll be off the grid for a couple of days. You can even tell them “I’m drying out” to see what reaction you get. After the third day, pull the phone out, wipe and blow out (mouth or canned air) any dust or other residue from the rice, reassemble it, put in the battery and let there be talk, email, apps, music and all the other stuff that your phone does for you (if the CLNC^® gods and goddesses are smiling at you). If it doesn’t fire up – take it back to your phone shop and tell them, “It just stopped working.” They’ll know what really happened.

If you happened to drop your phone into your margarita during the party your favorite attorney-client threw to celebrate winning that big medical malpractice case, or if your two-year-old slam dunked it into the toilet with her toys or if you just spilled your half-caf, double-shot, triple-caramel-whipped latte into it, we’re back to square one. Again, get off the phone, open it up and shake it out. Get out that can of circuit board cleaner you bought at RadioShack^® and wash out the sugar, sweeteners, cream and or saltwater (if you were deep-sea fishing). Wash it out with the circuit board cleaner. It’s already wet and now you’ve got to get out the gunk. But don’t dip it or soak it, that’s a recipe for further disaster. After you’ve rinsed it with the cleaner, follow the steps above to dry it out and fire it overhand into the rice bowl! With any luck, it’ll work when it comes out and you can get back into the swing of your legal nurse consulting business without too many days off the grid.

I’m hoping that all Certified Legal Nurse Consultants never have to dry out or dry out their phones or laptops. But, if you ever do spill your drink – at least we now know how to recover a phone or laptop. If you drop your attorney-client into the pool, recovering the business might be more difficult.

Keep on techin’,

Tom

Tom, my twin brother Vince and I were walking through the mall the other day with no particular destination on our minds. It was just one of those evenings when you just troll the mall because it’s there. Since we didn’t have a goal or focus I found myself taking in the shops from a different perspective. Normally, I’m what Tom refers to as a F&F shopper – fire and forget. I’m a laser-like focused shopper, entering the mall at a fast pace, making my purchases and coming back out just as fast, paying no attention to the in-between.

To give you a little dish, Tom and Vince can spend more time in a store than I do and still come out empty-handed. I’m always perplexed that they can spend so much time in a store (even a sporting goods store) without buying anything. I need to keep those two apart or leave them at home.

Being with Tom and Vince that evening at the mall (and nope, they didn’t buy a thing) gave me time to think about our legal nurse consulting businesses.

I walked past windows and display after display of the same lines of clothing. Mind-numbing displays of solids, stripes, plaids and every color under the sun – virtually the same from store to store. I realized that no matter where you are in the developed world, the shopping is disturbingly similar. Global brands have limited our choices from what was once a world of many selections to a world of few. Walk through Macy’s, Sak’s, Neiman’s, Nordy’s, Target or even my favorite, Walmart and they are scarily the same.

So I started to wonder what really makes one store more successful than another since it’s not really the product. Tom and Vince were still debating the merits of one brand of athletic supporter over another, so I chose a couple of stores at random and walked in. I learned more than a few things from this, both about myself and what I think Certified Legal Nurse Consultants can apply to their legal nurse consulting businesses. First of all, I noticed the few stores that had inventive window displays designed to catch my eye, did just that. Next, the stores that presented themselves in the best possible light seemed to be the most inviting.

But, the busy stores were the ones that raised my curiosity the most. If a lot of people were looking at their products, then surely I must look too. An empty store, no matter how clean and attractively laid out, tells me it’s empty for a reason. Something is clearly lacking – it might be value, quality, price or service but I’ll never know because I didn’t go in (sorry Valentino). Of the stores I did go in, the one thing that made the difference between the ones that were successful or not, was the service.

I’m not a fan of the hide and seek game that some salespeople play. If I have to hunt all over for a salesperson just to ask if they have a particular blouse in a size 2 (just kidding), I’m going to lose interest fast. Even more disturbing to me is when I do find a salesperson (or two) and they’re either talking on their cell phones or chatting it up with each other and can’t be interrupted to service a customer. That’s a quick way to lose a sale, sister.

Okay, so let’s look at the lessons for Certified Legal Nurse Consultants. First of all, present yourself in the best possible manner. Dress neatly and professionally. No one likes sloppy looking salespeople. If you can’t be bothered to dress appropriately for work, how do you think attorneys can trust you to help them? Attorneys and other professionals are drawn to successful-looking people. Although some of the rules from the old “Dress for Success” book don’t apply, the basic one does – dress like you’re part of your market.

Second, how are you displaying your products? Is your line sloppily presented or do your marketing materials practically snap with crispness? Start with your cover letter, is it on good quality bond paper? Do you use a letterhead that matches your other materials? Is your message congruent throughout? I see business cards that look like they’ve been hand-printed and sales brochures that look like they’ve been pasted together from ransom notes. You have seconds to get your attorney-prospect’s attention and catch their eye. Think of the way you sort your own mail and make sure your materials represent the professional you are. Too cute, too poorly done and too cheaply done send the same message. One your attorney-prospect won’t be receptive to.

Third, are you on your feet marketing or are you passively waiting for your market to find you? In the stores that I enjoyed shopping the most, the sales clerks didn’t wait for me to walk up to them, they were all over me from the minute I walked in. Not in a clinging manner, but in a professional “how may I help you find something” manner. There’s a certain salesperson in the shoe department of one of my favorite stores who always makes a point of acknowledging me no matter how busy he is. He checks to see if I need something in particular and lets me in on any upcoming sales – all while juggling other customers and an armful of shoe boxes.

He makes me think of one of the CLNC^® Mentors who exhibits at legal conferences. She positions herself in front of her booth and walks up to the attorneys as they come by, offering descriptions of her CLNC^® services. She’s got a super high success rate. I can contrast her to another legal nurse consultant (not a CLNC^® consultant) who she often sees at many of the same conferences. That woman sits inside her booth (a total no-no) and waits for attorneys to approach her. She has commented that she’s surprised she doesn’t do as well as the CLNC^® Mentor at attracting new business.

The salespeople who earn my business are often the ones that offer the business – not the ones that earn their commission simply by ringing me up. If I know something is likely to be available in that product line at another store with better service, guess where I’ll go to buy it. Even if I end up having to order the item, I’d rather do it where I experience good service and have the commission go to someone who’s earned it, than someone who hasn’t. Attorneys are the same way. They’re crazy busy and don’t have time to go looking for you. You need to get out there and, as one Certified Legal Nurse Consultant once said, if they don’t know why they need my CLNC^® services, I just explain it to them until they do!

Fourth, the best salespeople are the ones who not only help you find the perfect item, but also help you accessorize it or supplement it. You can always find the perfect jacket, but blouses, earrings or a purse that compliment it and extend its range are great. Make yourself indispensible. You’re not there to sell the attorney-client just one service. Certified Legal Nurse Consultants know how to deliver over thirty different CLNC^® services to attorneys. Don’t be the store with just one pair of shoes on the shelf. If they’re not the shoes the attorney-client is looking for (or they don’t fit) they’ll go elsewhere.

Remember, ultimately you may be offering the same services as the next legal nurse consultant so you need to distinguish yourself in the eyes of your market and make sure that you offer them what they want and what they need. The best performing Certified Legal Nurse Consultants deliver quality service when they say they will.

Next time you’re in the mall, zero in on what attracts you to a particular store or salesperson. Ask yourself what makes you loyal to a particular line of products or store. Then apply these insights to your own legal nurse consulting business. I know I bring home something different every time I go to the mall and I don’t mean purchases – I’m talking about new ideas I discover for improving my own business.

Success Is Inside!

My father, Sal Milazzo, is a veteran. The Army took a skinny 106-pound young man from New Orleans and an Italian mess hall cook fattened him up to 125 pounds. When Sal wasn’t peeling potatoes on KP, he learned to box (that’s the black-eye in the photo). The Army sent dad to Fort Sill, Oklahoma for winter training and then trained him to fight an enemy hidden in snow. Using Army logic they sent him to the Pacific to fight the Japanese in places like Angaur and Peleliu during World War II. Dad’s younger brother, Frank, is an Army veteran too. He fought in the Korean War (for some reason politely called a police action).

Both of Tom’s parents are also veterans. His mom’s parents couldn’t see the value in spending money they didn’t have on a college education for a “girl.” So his mom went into the Army, rose to the rank of corporal and returned home from Germany (where she met Tom’s dad), to fund her own education using the GI Bill. Tom’s dad’s two older brothers fought in Korea. One brother won the Silver Star and stayed in the Army long enough to fight later in Vietnam. Tom’s dad bucked family tradition by joining the Navy and also served in Germany, breaking codes during the Cold War (he still works those cryptogram puzzles in the newspaper).

It’s stating the obvious to say we wouldn’t be here today without our veterans.

On this Veteran’s Day, I’d like to thank all the veterans out there, everyone who has served our beloved country and those still on active or reserve duty, in service to our country. At every one of my CLNC^® Certification Programs, I meet legal nurse consultants who are either serving or who have served as nurses in the various services. I also meet many who have children who are currently in uniform.

Americans have always stood up when called on, in times of war and in times of peace. Our National Guard troops helped my hometown of New Orleans after Katrina and, along with our regular services, are often called away from their own families to help others during and after various crises, all over the country and all over the world. Our military serves so many roles beyond the obvious and do so faithfully, as an all-volunteer force, often under-funded and under-supported but always there when called on.

I wish we could have a united world free of war and conflict. But, since we never have, to say we wouldn’t be here without our veterans is an understatement. Thanks to all of you and especially to you Dad.

Success Is Inside!

Every Certified Legal Nurse Consultant who uses a laptop will one day face the peril of having their coffee, lemonade, margarita or healthy green tea spilled onto their laptop computer. It will never be on purpose and it will be an unpleasant surprise that comes at the worst possible time (Don’t they always?). How you react and how quickly you react may make the difference between life and death for your legal nurse consulting PC. ICU nurses will have an advantage over the rest of us, but today’s Tuesday Tech Tip will help to level the playing field, while still allowing for a successful resuscitation. Legal nurse consultants who are desktop users may only end up with a sticky mouse or sticky keyboard, both easy to replace. If you’ve somehow managed to spill liquid into the case of your desktop computer, well my CLNC^® amigo, you’ve got more problems than just a wet PC. Instead, I’m going to focus on laptop users.

First of all, move quickly. This is important. Don’t worry about extracting an apology or pound of flesh from the spiller. As the spillee, the first thing to do is unplug the flow of power to your laptop. If you’re plugged into the power adaptor, pull that plug immediately (yank hard). Then flip the PC over and pull out all batteries. There’s no time for niceties such as closing programs and saving the data for that legal nurse consulting report you were writing. If you take any time to save your data you may lose your laptop (think short-circuit, sparks, fire, big Hollywood explosion).

As soon as all power sources are disconnected, pull out any removable components, CD/DVD drives, flash cards, USB devices, Internet cards, etc. Now tilt the laptop over to drain out the offending liquid. Tilt it toward you to keep the liquid from running into the screen/display. If you’ve got an open port or slot such as a PCMCIA or lock slot, drain the liquid from that slot. Then while keeping the laptop tilted, wipe off the outside with a soft, dry towel. If you spilled your drink onto the screen, use a screen cleaning solution such as Monster iClean and a microfiber cloth to wipe it off. That was the easy part. Depending upon your drink of choice, you could be in good or bad shape. The next steps depend on what was spilled onto your laptop, how much was spilled and how deeply it penetrated.

If you’re a legal nurse consultant who drinks unsweetened drinks such as healthy green tea or water, you’re in better shape than the rest. If your cup contained sugar, lemon, high fructose corn syrup, cream or other organics, you’re in for a tougher time. Your next step if you dare, is to take the case off your laptop and lift the keyboard up to view the circuit board. If you don’t dare, you may still be okay, depending on what was spilled. Put away the hair dryer and can of compressed air – they won’t help right now and can only cause more damage at this point. Instead, prop the keyboard up so air can circulate around it. In the unlikely event it was simply water or green tea without any sort of sugar or organics you can just put the system in a warm, dry room preferably in the sun and let it dry for a couple of days (consider having to go without a laptop as punishment for letting liquids get near it).

Finally, after it’s had a chance to dry, reassemble it and turn it back on. If the CLNC^® gods and goddesses are smiling it should work just fine. While you’re waiting, you can consider contacting the insurance company that covers your legal nurse consulting hardware or the computer’s manufacturer (or even American Express if it is a covered purchase under their replacement plan) to see if it’s covered by insurance or warranty. You may wish to do this before you disassemble it but this is one of those cases where I believe it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.

In the more likely event that you spilled your super-mocha-double-whipped cream latte, Jolt Power Cola or frozen margarita (woo-hoo!), we’ve got some more steps to take. While your computer is disassembled and drying, go to your local RadioShack^® and buy a can or bottle of electronic circuit cleaning solution or circuit board cleaner. You may first want to spray some of this on a soft cloth and run it over some part of your laptop’s plastic case that isn’t visible to see if it causes discoloration (they often do). Then take your laptop outdoors (if it’s dry weather) or into a well-ventilated area, tilt it and flush it out with the electronic cleaning solution. This should dissolve the organics and wash them out. Then put the laptop back in the warm dry space and let it dry for a couple of days before you try turning it back on.

If it still doesn’t work, you can take it to a local computer repair shop and have them try and save the hard drive (they’re sealed), thus saving the data on that drive. They can load your data into a new computer or try and wash out the old laptop like you did, but with the skills necessary to further disassemble it. In the end, it may be necessary to destroy the computer to save it (well, at least the data).

In the meantime, always, and I do mean always, whether you’re working on a legal nurse consulting project or just living la vida loca as a CLNC^® consultant in your Second Life^®, keep liquids an arm’s length away from your electronics. You may be able to postpone the inevitable as long as possible, but like death and taxes, a spill is going to happen. Whether you react like an ICU nurse or an office nurse will make all the difference in the world.

Keep on techin’ (dryly),

Tom

Many legal nurse consultants have either been sent off to camp as a child or, as an adult, sent your children off to camp. Today I’m thinking about starting a new camp and I’m calling it Camp Buck-Up! This camp will be for all the people out there who have to be told to “buck-up” on a regular basis. This includes more than just the people who continually forget their responsibilities (Why are the laryngoscope batteries dead?), the whiners (You want me to help you lift which patient?) and the complainers (This is the second night this week they served okra in the cafeteria and I didn’t get any.).

What’s the point of this camp? It’s to get people to do their jobs, without complaining and to act like adults while they do their jobs. I’m sure you all know a couple of candidates for Camp Buck-Up (I can think of several already) and to tell you the truth, I need the occasional visit to Camp Buck-Up myself.

At Camp Buck-Up, we’ll start the day with healthy green tea followed by PE drills such as shouldering and carrying a heavy load of responsibilities, pulling your own weight in meetings, running an obstacle course of objections when completing a project and walking a tightrope of responsibility, all without complaining. Easy activities like fire-walking are for those feel-good camps – not Camp Buck-Up. At Camp Buck-Up, everyone will spend one week without complaining about anything or anybody. It’s easier to complain, or to moan and groan than it is to put our noses to the grindstone but we’ll straighten that out. If someone is heard complaining, they’ll get a second week at Camp Buck-Up at no additional charge.

At Camp Buck-Up, there won’t be any gossip about any issues other than why there’s no gossip. There won’t be any second guessing or criticism without offering an alternative and we won’t talk about someone if they’re not there to defend themselves.

At Camp Buck-Up, we’ll learn that the best way to eat a whale is one bite at a time. We’ll learn to plan projects, set goals and timetables and stick to them. Sometimes getting started is the hardest part of a project so we’ll all practice taking that first step. Our legal nurse consulting businesses will never be the same after Camp Buck-Up.

At mealtime at Camp Buck-Up, you won’t find any processed or fast foods. We’ll learn to eat cruciferous vegetables and plenty of Omega-3s and how to make the healthy choice over the fun choice (Goodbye fried oyster po-boys, hello salmon and broccoli!). We’ll each do a tour of KP (kitchen patrol) so we can practice prepping and cooking fast, healthy meals that create leftovers we can take to work the next day.

At Camp Buck-Up, all nurses will eat meals sitting down and be forced to take a 30-minute lunch break. They’ll also be forced to give up their catheters and go to the bathroom on a regular basis. We’ll drink 8 or more glasses of water daily to help this process.

At Camp Buck-Up, everyone will be forced to have at least one good belly laugh each day and it won’t be from schadenfreude, it’ll be from the genuine pleasure of people having fun working and laughing together. Don’t ask about the thread count on the sheets, just be happy we won’t have bunk beds!

At the end of every day at Camp Buck-Up, we’ll have a sundowner of healthy red wine and thank our lucky stars we’re at Camp Buck-Up before we drink it.

At Vickie Milazzo Institute we haven’t started mandatory Camp Buck-Up yet, but I’m thinking about it. I’ve already filled the guest list for my first Camp Buck-Up with people I think need it most (and no, Tom’s not on that list). If you want to sign up for Camp Buck-Up, I’ll be happy to put you on the waiting list, just let me know! See you at Camp!

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